February 2012
2 posts
2 tags
Glory
Brittany: Blue Ivy Carter is a cute baby.
Brittany: She came out with a lot of hair.
Me: She did.
Me: Do you think they paid for that?
Brittany: The hair?
Me: Like, do you think there's an insanely expensive procedure
Me: To make your baby come out with a lot of hair?
Brittany: I did consider it.
December 2011
4 posts
1 tag
hair, voice, jumpsuit, incredible camerawork, 13... →
1 tag
November 2011
2 posts
2 tags
“Carmen, Fine honey from BKLN. met you opening nught 1985.. It’s Rob from...”
– What the fuck do people think Youtube is for?
October 2011
4 posts
1 tag
1 tag
4 tags
"The Starks are always right eventually." →
September 2011
2 posts
1 tag
A Partial List of Real Fuckin' Cheesy Songs My...
Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places (Thanks Jeremy)
Alan O’Day - Undercover Angel
Paul Davis - I Go Crazy (A viking sings this song)
Barry Manilow - It’s a Miracle (This one came on 94.7 the other night at 2 in the morning, and while I was listening it occurred to me that there is no way that Barry Manilow hasn’t torn through a lot, a lot of women. There’s simply no way...
August 2011
4 posts
1 tag
3 tags
July 2011
1 post
June 2011
4 posts
1 tag
“When Joanna Newsom announces her next album, i’m going to retag every song...”
– Jeremy Gordon
If you’d gone to a publisher in 1981 with a proposal for a science fiction novel that consisted of a really clear and simple description of the world today, they’d have read your proposal and said, Well, it’s impossible. This is ridiculous. This doesn’t even make any sense. Granted you have half a dozen powerful and really excellent plot drivers for that many science...
I wrote another thing for The Atlantic, this time... →
When me and Jeremy were talking about this one of us said something that made me think of a Trey Songz track, “Love Faces.” It’s a more or less generic but still decent track about making screwy, gasm-proachin’, coital facial expressions, and I like it, but one of the things that almost ruins it for me is how serious Trey Songz is throughout. During the choruses he lowers...
1 tag
May 2011
5 posts
1 tag
Jeremy: I’d rather be black than have a beard.
Jeremy: No, that’s not true.
1 tag
2 tags
April 2011
4 posts
1 tag
“This is the only music video i have ever masturbated to.”
– MrGosnell1234, 3 months ago, 58 likes
top rated comment.
1 tag
What is the reaction most people have to the performance?
Normally people see a chair and they ignore it, they think it’s junk. But once they see the penis protruding they begin to be interested and call other people over to come and sit on it. In a well-lit gallery space, usually nothing more happens, as it’s too public, but some people touch my dick, and seem amazed at how real it is, as they...
March 2011
2 posts
February 2011
1 post
“We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go out and do...”
– Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country (via heleneiswaiting)
January 2011
3 posts
“I remember reading ‘The Corrections’ in manuscript and I finished...”
– Lorin Stein, editor of The Paris Review
1 tag
New Year's Eve of 2010-2011 by Susan Swanton
Crunked tonight Crunk Crunked tonight I gonna get crunked tonight? File my dick off, motherfucker. Go to store Buy file Go to party Stand in corner Stand in corner and Stand in corner File motherfucker File motherfucker off I have nub I am nub
(my friend Susie wrote this persona poem from my POV.)
December 2010
4 posts
3 tags
November 2010
2 posts
1 tag
“Everyone on Facebook used it after talking about something fun they were going...”
– Brittany explaining her confusion about the meaning of the term “getting it in.”
October 2010
5 posts
2 tags
1 tag
"Hey, did you see Joanna Newsom at the Vic in... →
1 tag
1 tag
September 2010
2 posts
A Night Without Armor
Me: *Begins singing along to the music in McDonald’s restroom* Jeremy: What is this, St. Vincent? Me: *Dissolves into laughter* Jeremy: What? Me: This is Jewel. Jeremy: God, I even troll when I’m not trying to.